I got three stitches today!

Today was a day just like any other, until 12:00 PM that is. It was at this fateful time that I left work. Not to return again all day.

From work I went home to eat lunch. I played with Addilyn and all was well. THEN I left to go to my Dermatologist appointment at KU Med. I arrived unscathed and after some confusion found my way to Suite B. I signed in and sat for a few minutes, kept company by a ragged, old Readers Digest. I was called in and told to disrobe down to my Led Zeppelin boxers (actually the nurse lady didn't know at that point that I was wearing Led Zeppelin boxers). I sat there in what I thought was awkwardness for about 30 minutes till I was visited by a nice doctor lady. She gave me an initial scan and took a scraping of my weird skin discoloration, which was the reason for my visit. I regaled her with tales of past attempts at curing my ailment and she questioned me about my motives for such behavior and the consequences thereafter. Then she took her sample and left.

A few minutes later nice doctor lady returned with the doctor I was supposed to be visiting. They both scanned my nearly naked body with great interest and spoke in a language that I'm thinking might have been part Persian and part Klingon. I sat in silence and they both left promising to return with explanations and answers. Shortly after they left there was a meek little knock on the door. Surprised that they were back so soon I looked up to see a new doctor lady, also nice, entering. She came with the pretense that she was to take a look at the spots on me. Well she did. She spouted off some words and names that I didn't understand and then left. Shortly after her was a second spontaneous visit by a new doctor lady. She gave me the same line about looking at spots and I let her. Then there was a third. The fourth visit however trumped them all.

It started like all the rest; an innocent knock followed by a random person. This time the random person was followed by another random person, my original two doctors and one of the middle doctor ladies. All in all there were four lady types and a dude. The new guys had their look and shared their thoughts. The dude was the head of the department and shared the train of the thought that it might be Dinofascistcarboniteasaurus or something like that. Just when I thought I knew how it would feel to be an underwear model the cameras come out. The head dude and an interested doctor lady thought my case was so interesting that they should fully document it. So I was turned, poked, stretched, posed and overall completely violated for a few minutes. It was at that moment that I truly knew awkwardness.

Pictures taken the crowds dispersed leaving me with only my two main doctor ladies. They agreed a biopsy was necessary and so they all left for a minute and the original nice doctor lady returned with a nurse. They flipped me onto my stomached and proceeded to cut a chunk of my skin out of my back. They then stitched me up and told me they’d call. And I wait…………….